Healing from Sexual Trauma: A Beginner's Guide
Understanding the Long-Term Effects of Untreated Sexual Trauma
Sexual trauma can ripple into many areas of life if not healed, leading to difficulties with personal identities, feelings of shame, and confusion. There are other consequences considering sexual trauma and varies from each person. Understanding the full scope of these issues and gaining knowledge can be the first step of healing from sexual abuse. On the surface, physical pain can occur such as chronic pain, fatigue, cardiovascular issues, poor skin health, digestive problems, and nervous system dysregulation. These symptoms are commonly the only issues sought to heal for the vast majority.
Psychologically, sexual trauma can increase the risk of developing mental health conditions and unpreferred psychological outcomes, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. When having experienced sexual trauma and no psychological treatment, it can result in harmful coping strategies such as self-blame, substance abuse, self-numbing disassociation, self-harm, and more which can create a cycle of poor mental health and low self-esteem.
It is well known that a strong support system and relationships are the backbone of healing in general, including sexual abuse. However, sense of trust can be negatively influenced with the sexually assaulted and therefore difficulty maintaining personal relationships and friendships becomes more prevalent. Experiencing child abuse in particular can have a ripple effect of trauma responses related to relationships (although this can be healed).
Stay Silent or Heal: Asserting the Truth and Accepting Support
Although the internal conflict with trust can inhibit the process of healing sexual trauma, growth seldom occurs without a support system. This includes opening up and owning the truth, which may be the most difficult action. With childhood sexual abuse or sexual violence, the practice of mistrust might be engrained that it almost seems unlikely to imagine trusting.
Opening up to trusted family members or friend can be a great first step for some. Alternatively, or as well, online mental health professional help and hotlines can provide immediate support and guidance for trauma survivors. This talk therapy may be a first step to feeling more comfortable with getting help in the short-term. However, regularly meeting with a sexual trauma therapist or counselor can provide a safe and supportive environment to process. Furthermore, finding a professional that feels like a right fit, has high credentials, and the style of the approach can change the outcome of one's healing journey. For some, support groups focused on sexual trauma can provide a sense of community and connection with others who have similar experiences.
Alternative, not trauma informed, and indirect support may help in the short-term, but often does not heal the root of the trauma and could delay the healing process regarding time, money, and the motivation to keep going. Personally, in the past, I have sought out these alternative healing practices, but it only felt like I was healing, making me temporarily happy. The developed behavior from trauma would eventually come to the surface, and I would seek out these alternative practices to "put out the fire." It wasn't until I sought out professional help from a trauma therapist who I genuinely trusted and connected with, that I started to heal, and I only sought out the alternative practices as a supplement.
Overall, receiving direct help is strength and is essential for healing trauma and recovery. The avenue of support varies from each person and requires patience. For an example, using poetry, painting, music making, and other creative paths can be powerful healing techniques in supplement to process trauma without explicitly talking about the abuse.
Positive Coping Skills and Managing Sexual Trauma
The steps I have mentioned so far can be difficult to imagine placing into practice for sexual assault survivors. It is often thought that including healthy coping mechanisms is easy and fun as they include self-care, mindfulness, and creativity. Imagination is the first step, and dreaming of a new way of living is exciting. However, implementing these practices into our lives after sexual trauma may be one of the most difficult steps so far.
As mentioned above, emotional support from a trauma therapist can implement evidence-based treatments for PTSD including eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), cognitive processing therapy (CPT), and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) to improve mental health and improve psychological consequences. But there is a misconception that therapy alone brings trauma healing into fruition, when actually it's a combination of self-care and therapy. Within the first few years of my healing process, I would see a therapist once a week, save all of my troubles for that session, and continue my unhealthy habits outside of therapy. When I understood the importance of combining popper trauma therapy with self-growth outside of therapy, I started to feel more responsible and confident about my healing journey.
Self-care can look like making personal goals to build feelings of self-worth, mindfulness meditation, relaxation techniques, building confidence, and activities that focus on joyful feelings. Engaging in creative hobbies, such as art or writing, also provides an outlet for emotions a common and help process trauma. Eating well and improving physical health also helps to regain control over trauma. Outside of these external actions, internally one can counter self-criticism by looking for evidence-based examples of how one has been doing well. In other words, using creative perspective to celebrate one's progress of trauma.
Rebuilding to Thrive
Beyond practicing coping skills from sexual trauma and the steps above, there is an opportunity to thrive. This means taking responsibility and ownership to live in the best way possible, however that looks. Sexual trauma reconstruction, taking on a new life, and recovery requires time, patience, self-conviction, work, and support. By itself, surviving from a traumatic event is a difficult journey, and many choose to stay there. It is few that make that choice, and even fewer choose to learn how to thrive. However, choice is not dictated by luck, and it is possible for anyone.
Long-term avoidance of sexual trauma affects, especially child sexual abuse and sexual violence, can mean more effort and time within the healing process. This can result in a higher quantity of support ranging from more therapy sessions per week, group therapy, non-profit support, sexual trauma informed health coaching, and more. This comes with hard work, more support often does not mean more comfort, but it often means more challenging conversations that give opportunities for growth. Learning to thrive means not just going through the fire, but choosing to go walk on the coals afterwards. It's hard work. However, hard work often comes with high rewards.
Within this process of learning to thrive, the habit of positive imagination is advised. Dreaming of a future with a positive psychology and lifestyle can bring motivation, more awareness, clarity and feelings of hope. Consistently surrounded by a safe environment, healthy relationships with common grounds unrelated to the sexual trauma, self-compassion, practicing holistic health and wellness, self-care practices, pursuing goals, and engaging in joyful hobbies, and activities that promote relaxation can lead to a thriving life.
Finding Resources and Support
Although the steps seem simple on paper, there is an underlying stress when implementing them into action. The urgency of wanting healing from sexual trauma can lead to settling for help that isn't proper support. Furthermore, for some, rushing the process of finding trauma support can cost more financially by accepting a therapist who is not align with their insurance.
For a significant impact: patience, discernment, and being selective of support can nurture emotional regulation and trauma healing at one's own pace. Although receiving help is important, it can still be a challenge to find resources that work. Starting small with the trust that is available, reaching out to find more resources for support can be a great start.
If looking for help finding trauma therapy resources, Bloomellous provides services finding each client with a therapist that aligns with their goals and personalities. Also understanding the importance of financial well-being during trauma healing, we find therapists that align with insurances or their sliding scales.
Maintaining Progress and Preventing Setbacks
Maintaining feelings of progress and preventing setbacks requires ongoing effort and commitment. Consistency is key to healing sexual trauma in order to combat going back to old habits. Often times when one is healing sexual trauma, feelings of confidence, joy, contentment, and peace will follow. However, these results are sometimes taken for granted and the work that was responsible for these outcomes can get left behind, creating room for setbacks and relapses.
Sometimes feelings of relapsing and perceiving something as a setback when it is only a mistake, can repeat trauma consequences. Knowing what is and is not a setback can help with prevention. Healing sexual trauma will not have a perfect path, and no one will heal without falling back into old patterns, at least once. Offering oneself grace, bigger picture self-awareness, confidence that one can still change, and perseverance to get back on track is key.
Along with this knowledge, having accountability from others, a routine that fosters wellbeing that one can go back to, celebrating how far one has come, regular professional help, and a support system that one can connect with can act as a safety net for trauma responses, setbacks, and to promote growth. It can feel discouraging that persistent work is involved if one wants to have long lasting positive outcomes. With this however, it is important to remember to enjoy the process of growth and find enjoyment in the work.
Conclusion and Next Steps
Healing from sexual trauma can be a challenging process that requires work, patience, and support. It is a blend of seeking professional support, nurturing well-being, engaging in creativity, relational growth, and overall self-care that raises self-esteem.
Remember, healing trauma is possible, and there is hope for a brighter future. Sexual assault is an event, but it does not define anyone. However, not healing from sexual assault can feel like it is an identity, since it is on the mind, consciously or unconsciously. If healing from specifically childhood sexual abuse, learning to heal and thrive for the first time can absolutely change your life and take a complete shift in identity and lifestyle.
Healing trauma may be the most difficult choice to make daily for sexual abuse survivors, but the most rewarding. And the only way, is to take charge of one's life and address the trauma. A world where there are more healed people, is a beautiful world. Some of the most important people in your life, you have yet to meet, and who cannot wait to love you. The healing journey is for everyone, and it starts today.
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